I started this journal to chronicle my experience with bedbugs and what it has done to me emotionally and psychologically. The whole experience has made me depressed, anxious, and angry. It’s been 2 ½ months and three visits from Terminix thus far and still, no visual evidence of bed bugs.
I, like many others, thought bedbugs gravitated towards, poor, dirty, uneducated folk (why? I have no idea.) It was refreshing to read from those who went through (or are going through) what I am currently going through- the constant feeling of bugs crawling all over me (even when they’re not), sleeping with one eye open wondering how many bites I will get and God, WHERE! I sleep with two pairs of very tight panties on. Sexy, I know. I have the legs of my bed coated in Vaseline. I used a spatula to spread a perfectly shaped outline of my bed on the ceiling because I read that after awhile with no blood, the bugs will crawl to the ceiling and drop down, avoiding said Vaselined bedlegs and double sided tape I put around my bed. I read many articles that said Thyme is a fantastic deterrent so my bed is now surrounded by Thyme. The aroma reminds me of my deceased Nana’s baked chicken, so it’s oddly comforting.
My fiancée has never been bitten. Though sympathetic to my plight, unless he gets a bite on his eyelid, I don’t think he’ll truly understand what I’m going through. He knows they’re here and he feels badly about the fact that they are terrorizing me but part of me can’t help but wonder if he’s secretly grateful they aren’t biting him. I’ve begged him to be my Knight in Shining Armor and shave his legs, arms and chest so the bugs will find him more appealing. He told me it isn’t quite the same as draping a cloak over a muddy puddle for me.
I wonder if stuffing cotton balls in my ears will stop them from entering my brain and causing all sorts of chaos. Because I sleep with my mouth open, I wonder how many will crawl down my throat, take a few steps to the left and find a bed bugs treasure: The Aorta. I stopped using tampons because I’m afraid the bedbugs will crawl up my string and live in bloody ecstasy inside my vagina. I now use an alternative menstruation product called “Instead” which are soft plastic cups that look much like a diaphragm. It encloses the cervix tightly and collects the blood.
I, like many others, thought bedbugs gravitated towards, poor, dirty, uneducated folk (why? I have no idea.) It was refreshing to read from those who went through (or are going through) what I am currently going through- the constant feeling of bugs crawling all over me (even when they’re not), sleeping with one eye open wondering how many bites I will get and God, WHERE! I sleep with two pairs of very tight panties on. Sexy, I know. I have the legs of my bed coated in Vaseline. I used a spatula to spread a perfectly shaped outline of my bed on the ceiling because I read that after awhile with no blood, the bugs will crawl to the ceiling and drop down, avoiding said Vaselined bedlegs and double sided tape I put around my bed. I read many articles that said Thyme is a fantastic deterrent so my bed is now surrounded by Thyme. The aroma reminds me of my deceased Nana’s baked chicken, so it’s oddly comforting.
My fiancée has never been bitten. Though sympathetic to my plight, unless he gets a bite on his eyelid, I don’t think he’ll truly understand what I’m going through. He knows they’re here and he feels badly about the fact that they are terrorizing me but part of me can’t help but wonder if he’s secretly grateful they aren’t biting him. I’ve begged him to be my Knight in Shining Armor and shave his legs, arms and chest so the bugs will find him more appealing. He told me it isn’t quite the same as draping a cloak over a muddy puddle for me.
I wonder if stuffing cotton balls in my ears will stop them from entering my brain and causing all sorts of chaos. Because I sleep with my mouth open, I wonder how many will crawl down my throat, take a few steps to the left and find a bed bugs treasure: The Aorta. I stopped using tampons because I’m afraid the bedbugs will crawl up my string and live in bloody ecstasy inside my vagina. I now use an alternative menstruation product called “Instead” which are soft plastic cups that look much like a diaphragm. It encloses the cervix tightly and collects the blood.
I brush my teeth with Tea Tree Oil toothpaste because I read that in addition to this oil killing them on contact, they also don't like the smell of it. I don't blame them. It's nasty. But so natural.
I put Skin So Soft in a spray bottle. Before I go to bed, I stand naked in the tub and spray every nook and cranny, paying special attention to my ears, eyelids and other often-missed spots. I learned quickly to stand on a towel while applying. I also spray my sheets, pillows and blanket with this nightly.
I have enclosed my mattress and box spring in zippered plastic. Since bedbugs can live up to 18 months without feeding but still procreate like bunnies, the thought of what will happen when I free my mattress and box spring from their double plastic, zippered prisons scares me. I envision myself turning into Tippi Hendren (but with better hair) dodging thousands of angry bedbugs hell-bent on eating for the first time in many months.
Socially, I’m back to the days where I refused to have guests over or visit other’s homes because I wet the bed (and yes, this was when I was a child, not an adult, in case you were wondering.) Aside from the obvious fear of a guest tansferring a bug from our home to theirs, I simply cannot risk someone peeking into our bedroom and looking on at our Isolated Bed with Vaselined legs or our Vaselined ceilings. Not to mention the flashlight and tub of Vaseline on the nightstand. Ha ha. There's also a risk of a guest going through my medicine cabinet, like most guests do. And here they will find an even stranger combination of antibug stuff. So, I'd rather not risk it.
I have enclosed my mattress and box spring in zippered plastic. Since bedbugs can live up to 18 months without feeding but still procreate like bunnies, the thought of what will happen when I free my mattress and box spring from their double plastic, zippered prisons scares me. I envision myself turning into Tippi Hendren (but with better hair) dodging thousands of angry bedbugs hell-bent on eating for the first time in many months.
Socially, I’m back to the days where I refused to have guests over or visit other’s homes because I wet the bed (and yes, this was when I was a child, not an adult, in case you were wondering.) Aside from the obvious fear of a guest tansferring a bug from our home to theirs, I simply cannot risk someone peeking into our bedroom and looking on at our Isolated Bed with Vaselined legs or our Vaselined ceilings. Not to mention the flashlight and tub of Vaseline on the nightstand. Ha ha. There's also a risk of a guest going through my medicine cabinet, like most guests do. And here they will find an even stranger combination of antibug stuff. So, I'd rather not risk it.
My nightly cocktail includes 1500 mg of Tylenol PM, followed by a couple glasses of wine, at a leisurely pace, mind you. I also take B Vitamins now because I read the bugs don't like the odor this causes your body to emit. My bedtime of past was 10pm. I’m now up most nights after midnight much like a child fighting the inevitable sleep.
The only person I have told about this is my sister. I made her swear secrecy on her children’s lives that she not breathe a word of this to anyone. After chuckling a bit, she said, “Jesus Christ. It’s bugs, not Herpes.” I quickly informed her that the social stigma related to both is very similar. I wonder now, if she will rethink bringing her children down to visit Disney. Ahhh…maybe I had a subconscious ulterior motive for telling her my nasty little secret. I’m thinking about telling my future mother-in-law now.
I’ve browsed through a few blogs related to this topic and most are written by men. I’m most interested to hear what women go through in this situation. I think it’s much different for women than it is for men. I feel “skanky”, for lack of a better adjective. I constantly wonder if they are nesting in my hair. I worry about the marks they leave on my body and try covering them with make up. I’ve had marks in the crook of my arm that looked like track marks. I have nightmares of being in a public place while one crawls out of my sleeve or jumps out of my hair, as people stare horrified and disgusted.
So after all this ranting, I have to admit that I haven’t seen a single bed bug and I’ve looked everywhere. I vacuum every single day. I wash my bedding every day and dry it on high for two hours. I’ve ruined countless articles of clothing doing this as well. After vacuuming, I take the canister outside, don some dishwashing gloves and pick through the material that was vacuumed up. I haven’t found anything yet.
The exterminator has been here three times. After mocking my pest control techniques and accidentally tearing the plastic cover on the mattress, he informed me that there is no evidence of bed bugs. The only professional action he took in my opinion was searching the bed frame and the suitcases we used last. He didn’t check the nightstands or dresser drawers, picture frames, outlets, phone jacks etc… When I inquired about this he replied “If you have bed bugs, they’d be in your bed somewhere.” This, after brushing off the idea of actually removing the plastic cover from the mattress and the box spring. After looking at photos of the bite marks all over my legs and torso, he mentioned that they could be caused by a change of laundry soap. He also advised me to see a Dr about the bites. And shockingly, he said I was suffering from “information overload” and that “there’s such a thing as reading too much about this” as if educating myself was sinful, needless and a waste of time. His attitude was completely condescending and unprofessional. After advising me to call back if I’m able to capture a bed bug, he left. I couldn’t wait to get that prick out of my house. If I had a bed bug in my hand at that very moment, I would have placed it in his pocket.
During my morning vacuum/spraying routine, I get on my hands and knees and crawl around the entire carpet, flashlight in hand looking for these little bastards. And Viola! One day, I found a dead bug. I knew it wasn’t a bedbug but I knew it was A bug. I placed it in a ziplock bag and called Terminex to pick it up for identification. The Terminix representative told me his boss would call me the next day to give me the results. Five days later with no callback, I called and was not even the least bit surprised that they couldn’t offer a definitive id on the suspect. He told me it looked like a plaster worm but he wasn’t sure. I did about 3 seconds worth of research before I learned that plaster worms do not bite people. And they don’t look anything like the bug I found.
So, I’m back to square one and Terminix has been terminated. Their lack of knowledge, condescending attitude and blatant ignorance is simply astounding. I'd love to hear from anyone in a similiar situation so please feel free to email me or comment:)
The only person I have told about this is my sister. I made her swear secrecy on her children’s lives that she not breathe a word of this to anyone. After chuckling a bit, she said, “Jesus Christ. It’s bugs, not Herpes.” I quickly informed her that the social stigma related to both is very similar. I wonder now, if she will rethink bringing her children down to visit Disney. Ahhh…maybe I had a subconscious ulterior motive for telling her my nasty little secret. I’m thinking about telling my future mother-in-law now.
I’ve browsed through a few blogs related to this topic and most are written by men. I’m most interested to hear what women go through in this situation. I think it’s much different for women than it is for men. I feel “skanky”, for lack of a better adjective. I constantly wonder if they are nesting in my hair. I worry about the marks they leave on my body and try covering them with make up. I’ve had marks in the crook of my arm that looked like track marks. I have nightmares of being in a public place while one crawls out of my sleeve or jumps out of my hair, as people stare horrified and disgusted.
So after all this ranting, I have to admit that I haven’t seen a single bed bug and I’ve looked everywhere. I vacuum every single day. I wash my bedding every day and dry it on high for two hours. I’ve ruined countless articles of clothing doing this as well. After vacuuming, I take the canister outside, don some dishwashing gloves and pick through the material that was vacuumed up. I haven’t found anything yet.
The exterminator has been here three times. After mocking my pest control techniques and accidentally tearing the plastic cover on the mattress, he informed me that there is no evidence of bed bugs. The only professional action he took in my opinion was searching the bed frame and the suitcases we used last. He didn’t check the nightstands or dresser drawers, picture frames, outlets, phone jacks etc… When I inquired about this he replied “If you have bed bugs, they’d be in your bed somewhere.” This, after brushing off the idea of actually removing the plastic cover from the mattress and the box spring. After looking at photos of the bite marks all over my legs and torso, he mentioned that they could be caused by a change of laundry soap. He also advised me to see a Dr about the bites. And shockingly, he said I was suffering from “information overload” and that “there’s such a thing as reading too much about this” as if educating myself was sinful, needless and a waste of time. His attitude was completely condescending and unprofessional. After advising me to call back if I’m able to capture a bed bug, he left. I couldn’t wait to get that prick out of my house. If I had a bed bug in my hand at that very moment, I would have placed it in his pocket.
During my morning vacuum/spraying routine, I get on my hands and knees and crawl around the entire carpet, flashlight in hand looking for these little bastards. And Viola! One day, I found a dead bug. I knew it wasn’t a bedbug but I knew it was A bug. I placed it in a ziplock bag and called Terminex to pick it up for identification. The Terminix representative told me his boss would call me the next day to give me the results. Five days later with no callback, I called and was not even the least bit surprised that they couldn’t offer a definitive id on the suspect. He told me it looked like a plaster worm but he wasn’t sure. I did about 3 seconds worth of research before I learned that plaster worms do not bite people. And they don’t look anything like the bug I found.
So, I’m back to square one and Terminix has been terminated. Their lack of knowledge, condescending attitude and blatant ignorance is simply astounding. I'd love to hear from anyone in a similiar situation so please feel free to email me or comment:)
